I can ease your guilty conscience for 10% less than the other guy

I came across the following website www.easybeinggreen.com (probably on Drudge) and became filled with indignation at the pervasiveness and sheer lunacy of the scam rooted in global warming that is being shoved down our throats by those 'in the know'. I anticipate penning future diatribes regarding global warming, but for now, here is the essay, the website inspired:

Global patriots and lovers of the sweet smell of freedom worldwide,
As you know very well, an odoriferous cloud hangs over this planet and poses a clear (invisible actually) and present, danger to us all. For decades we have fought to keep destructive means out of the hands of nefarious powers, while all the while ignoring the perils constantly rising at our back(sides). We have fought wars over WMDs, but the greater danger to all of mankind is SBDs.
Recent research indicates that 'Silent But Deadlies' are disseminated by every person on the planet except Al Gore and the French, and are the leading cause of global warming today. SBDs make up around 80% of the world's flatulence, and this percentage is even higher in developing countries such as China and India, where opportunities to 'blame it on the dog' on scarce.
Only a few savvy cosmopolitan citizens around the world have abandoned causes such as Nuclear research and micro-finance programs in order to focus on the fight against SBDs and gas passing in general. In spite of the general global myopia, a global champion of the fight against SBDs has arisen in the south. Easy Being Green is easily Australia's second most significant contribution to saving the world (the first being Paul Hogan), and the company's website www.easybeinggreen.com offers a vision of hope to English-speaking peoples, which heavy pockets and consciences everywhere.
The site allows one to purchase 'indulgences', which absolve (in this life and any afterlife) the recipient of his/her carbon-emitting transgressions for the year. Both environmental and religious experts have praised the company practices for surpassing lent as the most-promising purveyor of self-satisfaction, and experts note that EBG's strengths lie in its products that offset the carbon emissions of household pets as well as non-Catholics.
Inspired by EBG's mission, Bob Barker has reminded his viewers that it is no longer enough to have your pet spayed or neutered; you must counteract the environmental impact of their kitty/doggy farts. Future generations owe a dept of gratitude to EBG's creators, who with great personal sacrifice, pomp, and vainglory, shoulder 'the liberal-man's burden' and educate the ignorant masses who remain stubbornly ignorant to the error of their ways.
So the next time someone olfactorily assaults America and the world, call them out on it. Terrorists will try to shirk their global duty, but for the innocent who have been duped by Conservatives/greedy corporate capitalists into exacerbating global warming, allow them to apologize and then tell them to put their money where their mouth is.